Category Archives: Medical Joke
The Psychiatric Hotline
Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you [...]
Tagged Oldie
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Shingles
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. A few minutes later a nurse’s aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” So she [...]
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Prostate Problem
A Stuttering man meets a man with Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia: A man walks into his doctor’s office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him. The newcomer asks “W w what are yyy you ddd doing [...]
Tagged prostate
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A Short History Of Medicine
“Doctor, I have an ear ache.” 2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective. Here, [...]
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Stroke And The Three Nuns
A stroke is a sudden loss of brain function. It is caused by the interruption of the flow of blood in part of the brain. There are two kinds of stroke. The most common is called ischemic stroke and is caused by a blood clot in a blood vessel in the brain. The other kind [...]
Sweet Urine Test
The Importance Of The Power Of Observation In Medicine: It is recounted that at King’s College in the Strand around the time of the war, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year’s rounds by teaching “a singularly important principle of medicine.” He asked a nurse to fetch him a sample of Urine. He [...]
Tagged diabetes, Medical school, urine
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The Cardiologist’s Funeral
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. [...]
Tears For The Psychiatrist
Ronnie Shakes: After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.’
Tagged Psychiatrist
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Doctors Orders
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all [...]
Tagged Oldie
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MADtv Sesame Street – Bird Flu
A parody of Sesame Street. Big Bird gets the bird flu!
Tagged bird flu
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